James has been out of town since yesterday morning. I usually do pretty good on my own. Yesterday was of course crazy. I went to a funeral, I had to get Christian to Scouts at 4:00, Taylor to Soccer at 5:30, Christian to Baseball at 6:00. In the meantime, I had to fix meals and make sure homework was done. Averi, who is usually good, decided after an hour in the car to have a "meltdown" because she couldn't feel my neck while I was singing along to her annoying kid songs (yes, I sing along, but only because I have every darn song memorized!).
At 6:30 I came home really fast to change out of my funeral clothes because my girdle was strangling my will to live. I was in my room changing and Taylor came to tell me someone was at my house. I ran out into the living room and I didn't see anyone at my front door (I was dressed). Then out of the corner of my eye I saw someone in my laundry room. All I could think was that a serial killer was in my house! I started having an "outer body experience" and I was actually thinking I could karate fight them or something. My adrenalin was rushing through me. It turned out to be just 2 of my little church girls visiting me and hiding in the laundry room. I told them I could of accidentally killed them with my karate skills and they looked at me like I was crazy.
This is where I need to mention that I have no karate skills! I like to make up my own.
At 8:00 Averi was still screaming her head off in bed and I took my anger out on Christians' dresser. It needed some nails hammered back into it. I used my super human strength and threw the dresser on it's side, then I got a huge rock (I couldn't find a hammer) and put a towel between my rock and the dresser and beat the heck out of that thing. I felt so much better, and the dresser is almost as good as new! My stress levels are not good today either. I need some Pepsi with Prozac added to it (or vodka, either would do the trick!). I have 2 hrs. and 15 min. until my kids get home and I should be cleaning the house, but I am going to watch my Ghost Hunters and try to scare the stress out of my brain!
Averi did do a cute thing this morning: She grabbed her silky (big pink silk nightgown she loves to snuggle with) and as she left for school she said "bye silky, see ya later, be a good girl at school". It was so cute, I must say that to her a lot.
6 comments:
Next time I need something fixed I will know who to call! We need a girls night out with some yummy food, a chick flick and laser tag, we could shoot the heck out of everything in sight. That would have to relieve some sort of stress and burn calories at the same time!
Amber, I love reading your blog. I have tears of laughter streaming down my cheeks! It makes me feel normal, because then I know that I am not the only person who does crazy things....lol.
I love it, warning those girls about your karate skills!
It's even better when someone shows up on your doorstep at 9:00 a.m., right? :) Hang in there! Don't scare yourself too badly (even though I've never seen that show, it still sounds too scary). :)
You are too funny! I love your girdle part. I know you could've totally taken a stranger down with your made up karate moves! YOur kids are lucky to have such a "kick butt" mom. Good luck on being husbandless this week.
You are so funny! Man I miss you. I just adore you, Amber! Tell me when I can watch that tv thing.
Kerri
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