SAN FRANCISCO GAY PARADE 2007 -A SPECIAL TRIBUTE-

I was watching a show the other day and they were talking about the San Francisco Gay Parade...I just smiled and knew what I wanted to blog about next! (No, it is not that I don't like gay people, I know a lot of great people who happen to be gay). However, I happened to be in San Francisco last year at the time of the gay parade, and I wanted to share my experience with everyone who hasn't had the chance to see it yet!

Picture this... downtown San Francisco 2007, it was a cold day but the streets were lined with devoted parade attendees. I had traveled with James to a work conference, so I was sitting alone in my hotel room overlooking the busy streets. James had meetings to attend, so I was supposed to just hang out and relax while he was gone (when we checked in, someone asked us if we were hetro., uh...duh! I didn't think I looked that much like a "she-male", and I surely didn't think James was "femmie" in anyway-whatever-I can't imagine that happening in Idaho). I knew that the parade would pass right next to our hotel, so I thought it would be interesting to watch from my hotel room. I started to see the people gather, and even though I was all by myself, I knew I had to get down there! I could not miss out on the "photo opps." that were about to happen.

Needless to say, I was this girl from Idaho by myself surrounded by thousands of gay/not gay/and kind of gay parade goers. I felt so brave! James had no clue where I was so I was hoping I didn't get mugged, murdered and thrown in a dumpster (hey, it could happen; I see it on Law and Order all of the time). Anyway, I saw a lot of things I had never expected to see in my lifetime, some I took pictures of, and some were not appropriate for anyone to see (especially in public! I guess S.F. doesn't enforce public lewdness laws). So, I wouldn't want anyone to miss out on all of my effort!

Notice that I kept with the "rainbow theme"!

Please be sure to click on the pictures to enlarge them, so you can get the full effect!

The crowd starts gathering...

This is a news show I was watching. Yes, I took a picture of the t.v. because that girl in the red wasn't a girl, it was a guy announcer! Freaky!

Everything started out nicely-gay cheer leading squad...this is for you Pam! Then came the "Dikes on Bikes", for about 30 min., I couldn't take pictures because most of them were topless! YUCK! Most were on Harleys and Choppers in pairs, but some were on regular bikes or bicycle-built-for-two! I was laughing hysterically out loud the whole time! People started to "give me the evil eye"!

Then came this guy-I can't tell what was up with him. The balloon outfits in the background were crackin' me up! I wanted to pop them!

More balloon outfits and a lot more weirdness!

This was the start of the "leather district", which I couldn't take pictures of either because most were wearing leather chaps without underwear-lots of crack that day (and I don't only mean drugs!).

I love this sign, there were tons of them; so sad, yet so comforting!

This was the mayor of S.F., apparently he is really famous and stuff. He thought he was so cool, that's for sure!

Gay sheriff department-I took this for Travis (my sheriff brother-in-law), I thought we should start one up here! They seemed like a tight-knit group!

This was just creepy! Get a load of the guy with a HUGE snake on his shoulders! YIKES! Examine this picture closely, it has a lot of interesting features to it! (don't worry, kept nudity out!)

WHAT THE H-E-"DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS"? I just had to document this one! Don't worry, he isn't naked, just wearing gold body paint and gold speedo! HOT!

Weird! Notice our "yellow friend" is in the background too-how sweet!

I saved the best for last! I was almost rolling on the ground laughing when I saw these guys! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! What does this even mean? Are the men barbies? Do their barbie dolls have issues? Do they need help because they like to play with barbies? What the heck?!? Notice that they did bring their barbies along for extra support THANK GOODNESS! I have a feeling that those barbies will need their own therapy and support group!

Well, I am sorry to report that I didn't get pictures of the naked guy riding a bicycle because it looked too painful to even capture on film! And I really felt bad for his bicycle seat! NASTY!

Also the naked guy running down the street wasn't in my picture album, but it will forever be burned into my "creeped out" memory bank! I felt sorry for the little kids in the crowd! Who would even?....why would someone?....what were those parents thinking?

Sorry if this is offensive to anyone! It was dang funny! I still laugh my head off thinking about it!

Disclaimer: this blog is in no way intended to offend or make fun of "normal" gay people, only THE FREAKY ONES! Heaven help them! All I can say, is that I hope and pray that they are clinically insane or really high because there is no way rational human beings would act this way in public! I can't imagine having a "proud to not be gay" parade! Can you picture the outrage?!? It is so sad!

SEE YA!

I AM A FREAK OF NATURE!!!!

Right now it is midnight! I should be asleep, but I am not! I just had to gripe about falling down again! I was walking in my back yard and tripped and fell flat on my face in a HUGE mud puddle! I was covered from chin to toes in yucky mud, water and grass! I started laughing and then crying at this ridiculous new behavior I have developed! I wanted to finally get to jump up and yell "Super-Star" (we don't get many second chances in life ya know), but nobody was around, so I did it in my head!

I either have an inner ear infection making me "off kilter", or I have diagnosed myself with a rare brain tumor that makes me dumber! It is probably a tumor, I get a lot of those (all diagnosed by myself of course). Did I mention that I am a hypochondriac? My family has stopped taking my tumors seriously, but you never know!

P.S.-Yes Dayna, I have a nice cut on my knee from my previous fall! It didn't rip my favorite pants thank goodness, it did however rip a hole in my ego!

Like Sand Through the Hourglass, So are the Days of My Life!

June has my head spinning! In the past 2 weeks, I have:

*Been to 3 baseball games for Christian.

*Been to 1 choir concert for Taylor.

*Been to to 2 doctors appointments and 6 therapies for Averi.

*Have been the grocery store at least 400 times! (I honestly don't think that is an exaggeration)

*Have been to 8 parties and eaten my body weight in junk food and fried chicken! (Daddy Daughter Date, James' B-Day, James' work party, ward bbq, my Scentsy party, Father's Day bbq, blind kids picnic, BUNKO, and I have one tomorrow too!)

The Equal Access Playground.

Blind kid party I was in charge of!

Girls night out!
BUNKO! Our monthly girls night! It is the best! I love the girls! Pam was there too I just didn't nab a picture of her -dang it!

*Got a nasty sinus/ear infection which leaves me voiceless, hearing impaired, cranky,tired, dizzy and whiny! (I am too busy to go to the doctor)

*Fallen down on my face in front of Cold Stone Creamery while many people were watching! (Don't worry I automatically bounced up and said "I'm o.k.", but in retrospect, I wish I would have jumped up and said "superstar"!) Sorry, I don't have a picture of that, but it would have been awesome if I did huh?!?

*Planted a million flowers in my yard (o.k., that is an exaggeration, but it took all day so it felt like it!)

Overall it has been 90% fun and 10% crappy! Fun is winning so far-yeah! (We'll see how I feel at the end of the month when I have go up a size in clothing because I am eating too much!)

Stay tuned...I'm celebrating my anniversary of my visit to the San Francisco Gay Parade with pictures next week! YAHOO!

I've Lost My Voice

This is another example of my supreme mothering! I have almost lost my voice today, and this is annoying on so many levels.
BUT...

The worst thing (and it takes a real woman to admit this) is that I can't "raise my voice" at my kids to get their attention. That is the most annoying part of this to me! My kids don't respond to nice soft talk, only loud dramatic "voice raising".

So...this is another confession from my crazy mommy moments!

I MIGHT BE A REDNECK!!!!!

You might be a redneck if...

*Your kids' swimmin' pool is an old plastic pond insert for the yard you don't use anymore.

*Your 5 year old's swimming suit is your 7 year old's old gymnastic outfit.

*Your 7 year old's swimming suit broke so she swims in her old soccer uniform.

My mothering skills astound me!

On a positive note...

*Averi learned how to ride a "big girl" swing and go on the slide all by herself. Mommy was too scared to let her try, so while Mommy wasn't looking Taylor put Averi to the test, and she passed! She usually likes to ride in the baby swings because she lets go too much and I am a paranoid freak! I have visions of her falling and breaking her neck or something! It just goes to show what a little bit of "kid faith" can do! Averi is a pro now. SOMETIMES IGNORANCE REALLY CAN BE BLISS!

Happy Father's Day James!
I have the best husband in the world! He is the best dad too! I have pictures of him playing with the kids today, but they are on my mom's camera dangit! He is so nice and so patient! I love that he is so willing to help our kids out when they need him. He is also a great example to Christian on how to treat his future wife and to Averi and Taylor on how they need to be treated by their future husbands. I am lucky to be married to someone who respects me and who has great priorities. I LOVE YOU SNUGGLES!

One word, is it possible?

I got tagged! One word Tag, can you do it? One word is hard for me!

1. Where is your cell phone?. . . . .Purse

2. Your significant other? . . . . . .Weirdo

3. Your hair? . . . . . . . . . . . . Crazy

4. Your mother? . . . . . . . . . . . funny

5. Your father? . . . . . . . . . . . wise

6. Your favorite thing? . . . . . . . sunshine

7. Your dream last night? . . . . . . psychotic

8. Your favorite drink? . . . . . . . Pepsi

9. Your dream/goal? . . . . . . . . . skinny

10. The room you're in? . . . . . . . laundry

11. Your hobby? . . . . . . . . . . . blogging

12. Your fear? . . . .. . . . . . . .cancer

13. Where do you want to be in six years? . .sane

14. Where were you last night? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .home

15. What you're not? . . . . . . . . .organized

16. Muffins? . . . . . . . . . . . . .fattening

17. One of your wish list items? . . .basement

18. Where you grew up? . . . . . . . .Wapello

19. The last thing you did? . . . . .cleaned

20. What are you wearing? . . . . . . sweats

21. Your t.v.? . . . . . . . . . . . .Flicka

22. Your pets? . . . . . . . . . . . .kids

23. Your computer? . . . . . . . . . .lifesaver

24. Your life? . . . . . . . . . . . .crazy

25. Your mood? . . . . . . . . . . . .grumpy

26. Missing someone? . . . . . . . . .friends

27. Your car? . . . . . . . . . . . . guzzler

28. Something your not wearing? . . . socks

29. Favorite store? . . . . . . . . .Amazon.com

30. Your summer? . . . . . . . . . . Crappy!

31. Like someone? . . . . . . . . . ..family

32. Your favorite color? . . . . . . .red

33. When was the last time you laughed?. .Today

34. Last time you cried? . . . . . . . months

35. Who will do this? . . . . . . . . Kjerstin

I tag Kjerstin, and Jessica

Global Warming my butt!

*This is what I saw when I woke up today! What is wrong with this picture?!? I was ticked off!

*Then I worked my tail off getting ready for my Scentsy party. I was so stressed! I made brownies, cleaned my house, set everything up, fed the kids and got ready just in the nick of time.

*Then only 6 out of the 40 people I invited in my neighborhood came! I think the weather kept everyone inside! I now have chocolate treats up the ying yang! So when I get fat, it is every one's fault who didn't come to my party! (p.s.-thank you Pam, Jessie, and kjerstin and a few other neighbors for coming, you guys rock!)

*James had a little birthday party, it was cute! I wish I could have made it more fun, but are birthdays ever fun when you are a grown up? Not really!

*I am almost postal because of this weather! I need a vacation to Costa Rica or somewhere without kids and snow. I am very cranky, not even the chocolate will help me at this point! My blogging is turning into one big whine fest lately! I need a "check up from the neck up"!

*Oh yeah, my Pepsi quitting goal only lasted about 7 hours. Oh well, I tried! Maybe next year right? Maybe not! (I have insulin resistance, and the caffeine supposedly messes with my insulin levels, but at this point, I don't care! I take medication for heaven's sake!)

*Last but not least, Averi lost her 4th tooth today! She looks like a jack-o-lantern!

Happy Birthday Jimmy Scratcher!

Happy Birthday to my Sweetheart!

Today is James' 34th birthday! I wish I could say we are going to have some huge party, but we have a baseball game to attend for Christian tonight. I just want him to know how much I appreciate what a great husband and dad he is! We are so lucky! We love him very, very much!

What is the cure for boredom?

What is up with the weather? I am sick of the wind and cold! I know that as soon as I post this it will be 105 degrees for the next 2 months straight! But, when it is miserable and I have the kids home all day we start going stir crazy!

Christian and Taylor have started dressing up in each others clothes for fun while Averi is starting to streak us on an hourly basis (she is a natural born nudist). Christian has decided to give Taylor piano lessons (he doesn't even know how to play piano), and I have started giving Averi at least 2 baths a day to keep her entertained (that is until she decided to poop in the tub, I guess that was supposed to be for my entertainment) . The biggest highlight of the day here is that Averi's Sit-n-Spin's batteries are almost dead and it plays the songs really weird. She is very fascinated by this, and has been sitting on it all morning. Taylor is trying to play "God Bless America" on the piano and singing along REALLY LOUD, and it is cute. However, it is making Averi mad because she doesn't like to share the piano. Christian let Taylor paint one of his fingernails, and then he gave Taylor a makeover. It kinda looked like she had camo painted on her face. I should have taken a picture really fast, it was funny.

So, now I have about 100 things I should be doing, but my will to be productive has been sapped out of me! Laundry and grocery shopping are not exactly the cures for boredom! I have also decided to stop drinking Diet Pepsi today. What am I thinking? I am totally not addicted to the caffeine, but I am addicted to the sweet taste, it is a nice treat when I am bored. We'll see how long I can last, I have about 2 cases of it in my garage calling my name!

May your day be filled with lots of excitement! I know it's out there somewhere!

Puke Fest 2008!

Oh yeah! I found that the best thing to counteract a cookie dough pig-out is the stomach flu! I had the stomach flu last week and lost 5 lbs.! I am sick and demented because that was actually worth puking to me! It paid off and I was glad!

Can I be any more whiney?

I have really been slacking off on my blogging! It isn't my fault! The kids got out of school and it has totally thrown off my groove! What ever happened to year round school? Don't get me wrong, I adore my children, but they can sure drive me crazy. My biggest gripe is the fighting. I can't stand the constant bickering!

On the plus side, it is also chore season! I don't make my kids do many chores during school because they are so busy and have tons of homework every night, so I give them a break! Summer on the other hand is when I let them do chores to earn allowance. I have to admit that my house stays a lot cleaner when they are helping do the chores, what does that say about me? Probably that I am pretty lazy!

I am busier than ever right now! This week I am helping organize a blind kid family picnic, a daddy/daughter picnic for achievement day girls, and I am planning my first party for Scentsy. Oh yeah, and I am still doing stuff for this Mystery Diagnosis show! Uggggg! I really think they should pay me for all the time I have put in to this. I am like free labor to them.

O.K., this is my most important bit of information I have to share! We actually have someone lined up to finish our basement! We have lived here for 4 years now, and have saved and spent the money to do this a few times. We have planned on doing the work ourselves, I even got lumbar, sheet rock, and electrical wiring for Christmas. Alas, we have finally admitted to ourselves that we have no skills! We have a friend in the ward (he is also a fighter in the cage fights we like to watch) with the skills that we sorely lack. I will post the progress so y'all can see! I am so happy! I can finally live in my whole house, not just half of it.

Sorry about my whine fest! I am trying to have a fun summer! Happy thoughts, happy thoughts!