Tuesday, September 2, 2008

WHY ME??

So...Some of you have heard this story, but I had to blog about it! On Sunday at church Averi was being very naughty , she was in an obnoxious mood. ( ie: In Sacrament meeting she decided that it would be really funny to "toot" as loud as possible several times and laugh about it-very loudly. I got some dirty looks too! She was also yelling out who she loved-Pam she said your name in there!)

Primary rolled around she had no teachers so I decided to spare the sub. and just sit with her! She did pretty good singing and sitting on my lap until the very end. Then came sharing time and scripture and prayer. Well, she was listening to all of the talking and getting every idea jumbled up in her head because she has no context to understand what they were saying. She was sitting on my lap facing me and first of all she kept "tooting" (a little problem she has) and I thought everyone around me was thinking I was over there "tooting". I kept getting out my hand sanitizer rubbing it on my hands and waving it around to dry to try to cover up the smell-I hoped it worked!

She then decided while I wasn't paying attention to use my breasts as punching bags. I told her to stop and she thought that was a funny game. She decided that it would be even funnier to lift my shirt up over my face, and she grabbed the bottom and just flipped it up out of nowhere! I had no time to defend my honor! There were only a few men in the room, so hopefully they didn't go home and vomit! I was wearing my girdle too, so all of my fat was pouring out of the top of it and everything! Then, she decided to copy what everyone was saying and she shouted "The Lord" and then she said "The Lord is pretend" and then "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is pretend". No, I do not teach her these things, she just got all of the the words jumbled up and said whatever she figured they were talking about.

I did the most logical thing and got up and ran out as fast as I could! So, now when I say I sluff church, you can understand why-to save my dignity! I am going to get kicked out sooner or later! What a little stinker-literally!

In this video she thinks she is talking to "Alvin and the Chipmunks". She has some really funny imaginary conversations, that's for sure. We love it!

6 comments:

Karri said...

That is tooo funny Amber! What a riot. Zack likes to use mine as punching bags too! Sorry, I didn't get your message until late Monday. I definately want some fall smells though. Let me know what works for you.

The Stewart said...

Oh my gosh! I guess I only heard part of that story yesterday. That is hilarious! She is such a sweetie! It was good to see you guys yesterday! Your family is so cute!

Kjerstin said...

She's the best, and we all love it when Averi's in Primary! SO DON'T YOU DARE SKIP, EVER!! :) One good thing about sitting in that back row is that nobody but the sharing time person even looks at you, so I'm sure your flashing went completely unnoticed, except by Allison! :)

L and T said...

you are going to have some funny stories to tell her about when she gets older!

Anonymous said...

Amber you are so funny:) I can't believe Averi lifted your shirt up. I am sure worse things have happened. The farting I would have blamed you...just kidding! You have quite the collection of Averi stories. Keep them coming!!

Jason and Kerri Allen said...

That is so funny. I laughed so hard. She is such a cutie. I wish I could see her more. She cracks me up. What a personality. I loved the video.